What is self-harm? Self-harm is a phenomena where someone will intentionally cause bodily harm to themselves. This is usually in a bid to deal with difficult feelings.
Most people who self –harm do it as a way to express feelings that they can’t exactly explain. It is a physical manifestation of an internal pain.
Self-harm has also been called non-suicidal self-injury because most times self-harm is not meant to be a suicide attempt. Someone described it as, “A coping mechanism even as they wished their world would end.”
“People often link self-harm to suicide but for me it was something very different; it was my alternative to suicide, my way of coping even though sometimes I wished that my world would end.”
Is self-harm common?Studies done all over the world have shown that self-harm is a common occurrence with one study stating that 17% of the population have engaged in self-harm thought their life time with the average age of the first incident being at 13 years.
While a study published in the American Journal of Pediatrics revealed that the rates of self-harm are higher in females, it is a common misconception that males do not self-harm.
So here I am to tell you that, men too experience this and we should not write off their struggles.
Why do people self-harm? Self –harm can be a way to express difficult emotions. It is a tangible expression of emotions that cannot be put into words.
People self-harm in a bid to feel something when they feel numb. Mental illness especially depression can leave you in a place of numbness, where nothing stirs your emotions. Human beings where meant to feel and in situations where you can’t… it could lead you to looking for this feeling elsewhere.
To experience a sense of control. Hurting your self can offer some semblance of control especially in situations where the individual feels that they can’t control anything around them.
It can also be a form of expression of the turmoil that the person feels.
Sometimes people self-harm to punish themselves.
Forms of self-harm
- Cutting or burning.
- Banging their head against the wall
- Self-strangulation
- Hitting or biting themselves
- Pulling out hair
- Poisoning themselves with tablets or liquids
- Purposefully engaging in physically risky behaviour
Is self-harm dangerous?
Yes, self-harm can be dangerous for 2 main reasons;
- While self-harm is not usually intended at causing severe injury sometimes the individual may actually harm themselves severely which could end in death.
- Self-harm is usually an indicator of suicidal ideation and the individual is highly likely to attempt suicide if not helped.
How can an individual undertaking self-harm be helped?
First of all, never disregard this behaviour as irrelevant or as a person just looking for attention. I have already shared how dangerous self-harm can be and we would never want to be in a place where we lose some one over something that could have been helped.
Even as we work to help these people ensure to relate with them with grace and kindness. Understanding that this behaviour is an outward expression of a tumultuous emotional situation underneath.
Ensure that you do not offer any judgments with regard to their behaviour because it might cause them to withdraw and refuse to share with you or accept any help from you.
It is also important for you to encourage them to seek help for their behaviour. Self-harm like all mental illness can be treated and these people can be taught much safer means of expressing their feelings and dealing with complex emotions.
If you do self-harm, here are a few safer alternatives that you might employ as opposed to what you might usually do.
Safer alternatives to self-harm
- Snap a rubber band against your wrist
- Find somewhere isolated and scream as loudly as you possibly can (alternatively do it into a cushion)
- Use a red marker pen to draw or write words on the place where you want to cut
- Squeeze ice in your hands really hard
- Squeeze the ‘pores’ in the skin of an orange / satsuma / clementine (take care to avoid getting juice in your eyes)
- Punch a cushion or punching bag – consider learning martial arts
- Find an old magazine or newspaper and tear it up
- Write down exactly how you are feeling in a diary – or if you’d prefer to, just scribble everything out
- Take part in high-intensity exercise; like circuit training, boxing, running or swimming
- Take a cold bath
- Play music really loudly
- Try squeezing a stress ball
- Find a lake or ocean and throw stones into the water as hard and as far as you can
- Look after and be kind to yourself; it doesn’t have to be something active. You could try meditation, aromatherapy oil…
People who self-harm are not weird or attention seekers, they are normal people just like you and me who can be helped into being the best versions of themselves.
If you or any one you know self-harms, reach out to us at Heart to Heart Spaces and let’s get you help.
